Day 16 - medication for the scars and clean bandages towards recovery....

couple days ago I considered updating the reality blog weekly instead of daily so I could make time for other things with that time during the week but nah... I change my mind, recording my thoughts that way (on a weekly basis) would take the realtime element out of this project.. it's still a reality blog end of the day and I want to keep it that way. To he who gave me that suggestion, little rebel saiz F**k Off!!

Diarising thoughts and tracing development regularly is an important practice to this whole thing.
Capturing the little detail of this journey that I'm on is as sentimental as the first im you ever bought for yourself with your own money. I can't really be selfish about anything anymore, that would be madly irresponsible after realising the gifts and building a purpose around them.

The plan right now is to use this project as a tablet of my efforts as I go about building my stuff up. This is meant to be a place of reflection during the building process of the complete Nuhtkayz project. besides... I want to relish every opportunity I get to continuosly tell the story of my life as it unfolds so yeah... I'll have to squeeze it into the day as much as I can coz its an important part of the build up.

I've put the plans out and now its time for effort to be made. One thing I've noticed about myself so far is that I place ridiculously high expectations on myself and then when I don't meet the bar I crumble, which is just a retarded thing to do since you won't always get something right the first time around. You can't be too hard on yourself... peoples high expectations of you already beat you down enough for you to be doing more of that to yourself also.

The thing about practice is that you do it over and over again untill you get it right, persistance is key. The obstacle course I face now is 'Will she pull through with saving this semesters academic record?'So much has taken place in this short period of time. I feel like a completely different person from the one I first came here as. I've found and re-found myself so many times that I've just accepted to never completely knowing......

This has been a rough 4 months for me with everything I had to get through in this short period of time together with all those tests that the universe decided to send my way. feeling like I dodged some crazy bullet, but yeah... we still continue on this path with new medication for the scars and clean bandages towards a full recovery.

Will I successfully pick up my socks and repair performance record? WE can only wait and see if a Nuhtkayz will manage to get herself up again...