Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Day2 : Everything involving relationships...




 
Something I wish I could paste on my forehead and walk around with..."
 
A never been treated before manic depression patient, emotional tyrant inside, extremely sensitive and friendly but you will shit if you make her cry. Damages will not be replaced and responsibillity will not be taken for losses suffered as a SuperSaiyan goes wild on your ass cussing you out to a slow death.
Enter at your own risk!!
 
So ktas stay away violent storm ahead...lol!
 
I am not a saint, do not be fooled dear stranger I just happen to be a bit of an actor at times.
Viewer discretion is always adviced and nobody cares about you
no form of political correctness, censorship
or whatever exercised here.
all types of swear words will be found.




Doing me?!... It took me a while to figure this out about myself but I may be too emotional for some dudes to handle. Most that I've come across just don't know what to do with you when you have your fits over something they'v done or not done (or said).

What today felt like for me - realising you are one of the few people on the planet who who get so mad you hurt yourself in that process coz stressballs just don't work... something must be punched or thrown repeatedly for calm to eventually set in.

I've hurt every kat I've dated before (Verbally that is!!) because I havn't taken time developing composure. None of it was intentional but I seem to express everything that I feel at the time that I feel it. It must be the reason me and *** always fought so much and I couldn't figure out what the problem was.... I kept saying hurtful shit whenever I was hurt by something, and it was always directed at him.... if he knew what was going on with me though he wouldn't have taken offence.

 
We can't both be that sensitive though,
 
Sometimes you just feel like saying... you know what, Don't walk through that door if you can't deal with a bold stubborness. I know what I want as much as I know whenever I don't have a clue what it is that I want at that time. I'm just a human being with a complicated emotional setup in there and I wish to be understood.
Everything that's flawed and whack about me is what makes up everything that's cool, dope and amazing. Those imperfections make me what I am.
 
If you can't accept me for everythng that sucks about me
than you are simply not real enough to know me in everythng that is great about me either.
there are polarities in everything.



I fall and stumble a lot but I ALWAYS rise and stand as an even crazier speed bullet than I was before the fall. Strong, stubborn and brave with #DarkSkinned ambitions!
I know and understand myself better than I did yesterday... One thing I wish you'd stop doing though is judging people... everyones a different paint in colour and texture.

The guy friends thing has never worked for me ever in my life... I keep rotating in the same circles over and over again!! how you friendzone somebody that you seriously dig I'll never understand?
super slow I geuss... I played Frank Ocean when I woke up thinking about you... Pink matter.

 
 
The question of delusion-
If these creative ambitions and dreams in anyway at all make me delusional. Than I'm proudly and stubbornly delusional and won't stop there.
 

Therapy.....

Woke up, wrote a little something and took random black and whites to feel better. I didn't mean to hurt him was the message.

now my day can begin, its only 04:44 right now but there's a lot of work I can get done by the time its 07:00 to prepare for 8 am classes.
What to do when a dummy starts strolling into your life like he never left and you don't ignore them like you swore you would... Perhaps never date white kats, they'r too free to grasp?

anyway... today I'm keeping to strict time management, I won't accomodate anything that isn't important enough to be on the time plan.

let the day begin.....


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