Day 41 - breaking out of negativity & the war of hate.

What would I do If I'd lose everything?... Young, stubborn and naive - a recipe for disaster!!
I'm growing though... these are all learning curves.
The first step from here is loving myself and acknowledging that I went wrong and made a mistake....

now for renewing myself....
It's so easy to get lost in this stuff lord help me keep it together.
I'm not naturally lazy, couldn't have made it this far if I were... you just get lost in your own self sometimes and run out of motivation and fire and end up in really dark places.

I had to re-learn how to embrace a strong sense of reality....(that didn't come easy me being the dreamy person I am)
re-learning also how to humble myself in what-ever situation I face and look for ways to progress and not ways to engage in an uproar over what I refuse to do.

................. *thinking*..... just to simply try and adjust to all changes without embracing rebellion as often as I do. It's just me growing up I geuss, I have my whole life in these little hands of mine and need to be
a bit more responsible if I'd like to do a good job at getting myself anywhere with what I've got to offer to the world.

I'll do what I can do to the best of my abillities at this point until the dp's come out... storm is over.
I'll report my case on monday and see if i'll be given re-writes.. if not so be it. But I'm not bugging about what can't be changed anymore...

here's to that leap of living a humble existence, it's important for me to develop a better sense of responsibillity.. not just for my own life but for every other creative thing I get into.
I dissapoint so many people who are rooting out for me by being impulsive, irresponsible and making stupid and emotional decisions that weren't thought through properly...

That's why it's important for me to learn how to be humble, thoughtful, logical and try my best to stay at peace with myself and my surroundings, no matter how much of a right brained alien I may be in there... what matters is what I do with what is left here.

The secret is to find and live my own personal contentment HERE and NOW... not place it out there somewhere in the future and then go on a rat race for it..

I geuss a new page begins today and it starts with me.. what am I doing to help myself out of this situation? how do I plan to constantly stay true to myself & stay connected to what's inside and still progress?
There's never been this much peace in my world before.... no frustration, no tantrum, no depression and nothing negative poking at me....
and all I had to do was get in touch with myself, reconnect with the cosmic forces that move with me in this life. Fix the bad relationship I had with myself and start breathing deeply more often..lol.

The end of the war is at that place where you find love and compassion for your own self, forgiving of your own mistakes, looking past each imperfection and flaw and seeing something much greater than that in your own self...
Almost like, looking through a lense of love and compassion whether it is on your own self or on other people or somebody else.. That is where the war of hate ends.